The Chaos Of Beer Milkshakes: An American Craft Beer Rant

, The Chaos Of Beer Milkshakes: An American Craft Beer Rant

(Courtesy Red Robin / Samuel Adams)

There are certain things that were never meant to intermingle…that should never even be mentioned in the same breath…And milkshakes made with beer is definitely one of them.

And it’s not that we don’t like a good milkshake.  Like most Americans we’re crazy about them.

We’ve had milkshakes a million ways (and enjoyed nearly all of them). And it’s not like we’re opposed to experimenting with flavors either. But there’s a difference between being creative and acting with unhinged malice.

NEVER in our wildest dreams would we EVER consider mixing a milkshake with a beer…we’re just not that damaged.

It’s long been ACB’s position that beer and ice cream are polar opposites that should never be allowed to be co-joined. Like dogs and cats sleeping together; the Capulets and the Montagues, they’re anathema to each other in almost every way.

Beer is the anti-shake, it’s meant to be brewed, never creamed…And If a milkshake-inspired IPA was truly a good idea, a great brewery like Dogfish Head  or Jester King would have done one by now.

Likewise, beer milkshakes…There wasn’t any other flavor you thought might work better in your shake? We can sanction coffee, but never beer.

Only people with too much time on their hands would end up here conceptually. Just because people love beer and love milkshakes doesn’t mean that they were ever meant to go together.

, The Chaos Of Beer Milkshakes: An American Craft Beer RantKnow this…Once you’ve unlocked the door to concoctions as borderline as beer milkshakes, you’ve opened the doors to chaos…You’ve invited anarchy into your bed.

WHAT’S NEXT PICKLE MILKSHAKES?     No one needs that…not in 2023

We’ve no doubt that the craft beer world will continue to see its share of creative missteps going forward,  but few as misguided as beer milkshakes.

And we’ve no doubt that the public will continue to be bombarded with ridiculous ideas in the future. But keep this in mind…Just because a product proliferates doesn’t mean it’s a good idea …THINK FANNY-PACKS!

So bomb us all you want, but this madness needs to end now, and were not backing down!

If you want a beer, by all means have one and if you’re in the mood for a thick and frosty shake – please enjoy.

But the idea of mixing the two is a craft beer abomination … and another classic “BAD IDEA IN BREWING.”

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That idea not a bad enough for you?

How about these?

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – MEXICAN INSECT BEER

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – STAG SEMEN STOUT

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – BUSCH LIGHT WEDDING GOWNS

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – GOOSE POOP STOUT

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