(Enraged hopheads demand IPAs)

We expected that people would be into celebrating yesterday’s “IPA Day” – but we don’t think that anyone saw this coming. Reports started surfacing just after midnight last night, that the response to 2025’s IPA Day had been massive and that the nation’s IPA supply lines, at least for now, had been completely depleted!

Panic and disbelief swept social media networks this morning as the realization grew that yesterday’s celebration might have temporarily depleted craft beer’s most popular brew. Retailers on the East Coast are reportedly calling in security, as they turn away angry customers who’ve grown accustomed to their daily IPA fix.

”We suggested that customers might want to consider a lager for a change” said George Mantzouranis of Magruder’s Fine Wine & Spirits in Washington, DC, “but the public’s clearly upset – they’re demanding IPAs.”

“Hopheads can be difficult to reason with” mused Mantzouranis, “they love their IPAs and many of them can’t make it through a day without a good one. We’ve been calling our distributors all morning, but have been unable to get through,” Mantzouranis added “the phone lines have just melted down. It’s crazy!”

“Mob violence is a very real danger when you’re dealing with a disruption like this” said Mantzouranis “If the IPA is good enough, its fans will stop at nothing to get a cold one. “When good people become desperate – bad things can happen

Asked about reports of angry mobs overtaking beer truck drivers, Mantzouranis showed concern, “There are so many great breweries making remarkable IPAs today and I get that that people are frantic right now.”

“I can’t predict what’s going to happen today…But we’ve beefed up our security, so far there have been no injuries and we’re thankful for that.”

“We’re doing our best to monitor this emergency situation nationally, reports Tom Bobak, Founder & Editor-In-Chief at American Craft Beer but clearly our industry was blindsided by yesterday’s overwhelming demand. “We’ve been on the phones all morning with craft brewers from every region of the country, and they’re all working overtime to get their IPAs back into the marketplace as soon they can.”

“This is a very difficult time for the nation,” Bobak added, “and we are asking that everyone stays calm until this crisis is over.”

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