Beer has a long history of inspiring big ideas, bold opinions, and the occasional questionable decision.

For centuries, writers, world leaders, comedians, and everyday philosophers have shared their thoughts on beer..

Some of these are familiar, others less so, but they’re all worth raising a glass to…

The 20 Best Beer Quotes of All Time

1. “Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.”
   — Thomas Jefferson, Founding Father and the third President of the United States, who was also an avid supporter of American agriculture and brewing.
2. “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”
   — Kaiser Wilhelm II, the last German Emperor and King of Prussia, known for his flamboyant personality and fondness for grand statements.
3. “I work until beer o’clock.”
   — Stephen King, bestselling American author whose prolific writing career is often paired with a dry, self-aware sense of humor.
4. “Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.”
   — Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize–winning humor columnist famous for turning everyday observations into sharp comedy.
5. “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”
   — Kinky Friedman, musician, novelist, and political satirist known for clever wordplay and offbeat humor.
6. “Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”
   — Arnold Schwarzenegger, actor, bodybuilder, and former Governor of California, never known for subtle opinions.
7. “Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”
   — Henry Lawson, Australian poet and writer whose work often reflected working-class life and pub culture.
8. “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.”
   — Ernest Hemingway, Nobel Prize–winning author whose legendary drinking habits became part of his public myth.
9. “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
   — Ernest Hemingway, again proving he understood both discipline and indulgence.
10. “There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.”
    — Billy Carter, younger brother of President Jimmy Carter, whose unapologetic love of beer became a cultural footnote of the 1970s.
11. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
    — Benjamin Franklin, Founding Father, inventor, diplomat, and frequent source of beverage-related wisdom.
12. “I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.”
    — Ron Swanson, the fictional libertarian icon from Parks and Recreation, played by actor Nick Offerman.
13. “Life is too short to drink cheap beer.”
    — Anonymous, likely coined by someone who learned the hard way.
14. “Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.”
    — Homer Simpson, television’s most famous cartoon beer lover from The Simpsons.*
15. “A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.”
    — Czech proverb, from a country with one of the deepest and most respected beer traditions in the world.
16. “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
    — Often attributed to Benjamin Franklin, reflecting both his wit and the realities of early drinking water.
17. “You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
    — Frank Zappa, musician and cultural critic who rarely missed a chance to poke fun at institutions.
18. “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed…”
    — Jack Handey, comedian and writer best known for the absurd “Deep Thoughts” sketches on Saturday Night Live.*
19. “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”
    — Homer Simpson, once again expressing devotion with zero restraint.
20. “Good people drink good beer.”
    — Hunter S. Thompson, Gonzo journalist and author who lived loudly and wrote even louder.

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