The dizzying array of events planned for craft suds showcase SF Beer Week threatens to turn any red-blooded beer hound into a puppy in a hydrant factory.

Organizers expect more than 500 festivals, tap takeovers, release parties, beer dinners, hikes, cruises, tours, fundraisers, and collaborations this year. And, since 2013 saw a bumper crop of brewery debuts, frankly there’s a helluva lot of new beer to try this go-round. And if that’s not enough pressure, remember we’re just hours away from the official kickoff of the 10-day drink fest that official starts with the SF Brewer’s Guild’s Opening Gala.

Gulp.

“All this is horrible news: It means there’s not a single day of beer week without three or four events worth checking out,” says homebrew hackspace BrewLab SF co-founder Sam Gilbert, in (mock?) woe. “There’s only so much a body can handle, so we’re all going to have to make some painful, painful choices.”

To help the newbies and the oldies alike navigate the un-navigable, ACB polled a few experts on how they plan their week, get around, scout for the choicest events, and generally survive the craft beer marathon. Enjoy and godspeed, Bay Area drinkers!

On how to plan:

“Abandon the ‘kid in a candy store’ mentality. Don’t plan five events for every day of the week, unless you’re jonesin’ for a liver transplant. Use the ‘event type’ tab within the SF Beer Week schedule page to focus on types of events that specifically interest you, whether they’re educational, outdoorsy, or simply the release of a new brew,” says Jason Henry, a rep for Almanac Beer Company and The SF Weekly‘s beer blogger.

“I pick one ‘can’t miss’ event per day and then see what else is nearby that I can check out. I mix up the types of events I attend throughout the week,” says Mary Carten, NorCal craft beer specialist for the boutique California Craft Distributors.

“It’s a war out there. There can be no plans. Your friends will end up somewhere else; events will be too crowded; you’ll run into someone at the gala that tells you about the release of a barrel-aged imperial session sour ale brewed with unicorn blood, etc. Be prepared to adapt,” advises Sam Gilbert.

“My goal each night is to have two beers, maybe three. Organizing the calendar weeks in advance allows me to see what is coming and prepare for it prior to the event as opposed to scrambling a few days before,” says brewer David Alexander, whose Pine Street Brewery celebrates its one-year anniversary this year.

On how and where to travel:

“You’re definitely missing out if you just stay in the city this year. Faction Brewing in Alameda is teaming up with Mikeller and Stillwater Ales for an event. If you bike, the East Bay Tour de Biere is a really fun time. And Hog’s Apothecary, my favorite new beer bar, has some amazing dinners planned, including a special luncheon with FiftyFifty,” Sam Gilbert says.

“Use Muni, BART, Caltrain, taxis, Uber, Lyft, or your feet to get to the various events. The 511.org trip planner is a great resource to get you around SF,” Mary Carten says. She points out there are plenty of beer events with alternate transportation built in, like Cerveceria de MateVeza’s urban hike or the Inner Richmond Pedicab Craft Beer Tour on Feb. 12.

Headlands Brewing Company’s official “voice of reason” Inna Volynskaya likewise plans on attending a few events that revolve around alternate forms of transport. “A shameless plug, but I’m excited about the outdoor events we are doing this year. There are urban picnics, a hike, and an evening cruise. There is also the Valentine’s Day 5K that looks like a fun event for both couples and single folk,” she says.

On what to look for:

“Beer Week offers the opportunity to compare many beers within a given style. Get focused! Here are some excellent events centered around specific styles: Double IPA Festival at The Bistro, Toronado Barleywine Festival, Triple Rock/Jupiter Sour Sunday, Jug Shop Barrel-Aged Festival,” Jason Henry says.

“Typically, I attend events that offer a chance to taste something really special, educational opportunities, beer/food pairings, an opportunity to burn calories and sample beer, one of the many ‘Meet the Brewer’ events, or events that have some other fun element combined with special beer,” Mary Carten says.

“There are some thought-provoking events like Almanac’s Beer Talks or 21st Amendment’s movie night at the New Parkway in Oakland. Beer week is a great time to learn something, do something new, and meet the nice people that make your beer all year long,” Inna Volynskaya says.

On how to survive:

“Don’t get all excited and kill yourself in the first three days–save some energy for the stuff you’re really excited about. Drink water. Watch the ABVs at tasting events. Don’t show up to Toronado’s Barleywine Festival late and drunk. Drink more water. Relax. Breath. Have a beer,” Sam Gilbert says.

“EAT! Beer is food, but solids are helpful. The ‘beer dinner’ tab is chockfull of pairing events that will not only give you stamina for the week, but also elevate your enjoyment of the excellent beers that you’re imbibing,” Jason Henry says.

“Hydrate. I try to drink a glass of water between every beer or two; that way, you can taste and remember the great ones. Not to mention you won’t be suffering (as much) the next day. And don’t wait until the food lines are long, or worse, the food is gone” Mary Carten says.

Not enough inspiration for you? Need even more “must-hit” events to add to the ol’ calendar? The San Francisco Brewers Guild asked some Bay Area experts for their Top 10 lists. Take a look and get planning! And, you know, try not to pee on everything.