WORST MOVIES OF 2016 AND CRAFT BEER PAIRINGS

American Craft Beer recently ended the year with our picks for the Best Films of 2016 and endured the considerable backlash from many who found our choices “tasteless.” You want bad taste? We’ll give you bad taste…So here are, in no particular order are the Worst Movies of 2016 with the obligatory craft beer pairing.

Blair Witch

Please, Hollywood we’re begging you…no more campfire lit shaky camera scenarios…no more “non-actors” who couldn’t act if their lives depended on it (and obviously in this remake of the horror classic, they did), no more endless running and clichéd scares that no longer surprise. And most important of all NO MORE LOW-BUDGET FOUND-FOOTAGE HORROR FILMS. Suggested Beer Pairing: Olde Saratoga Death Wish Nightmare IPA – Mendocino Brewing

Ben-Hur

Taking on a classic is always fraught with peril but remaking William Wyler’s 1959 original (which went on to win 11 Academy Awards including Best Picture) smacks of boundless hubris and idiocy. And replacing an actor like Charlton Heston in his prime with a soap-opera caliber player like Jack Huston (who?) only compounds the mess. Never mind that the legendary real-life chariot race from the original is transposed into a tedious all-CGI affair that’s an embarrassment. Suggested Beer Pairing: Beer of the Gods – High And Mighty Beer

Alice Through The Looking Glass

Can we all finally admit that Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland though sometimes visually interesting, wasn’t all that? We know it made tons of money but was the nation really clamoring for another Alice sequel, especially one without Tim Burton directing. Can we also admit that Jonny Depp has lost his muse and become a cartoonish shadow of his once great self? Are you really looking forward to Depp in the next Pirates of the Caribbean? Is anyone?  Suggested Beer Pairing: Alice Blonde Ale – Wonderland Brewing

Warcraft

Has there ever been a truly artful, entertaining and successful translation of a popular video game to film? History has proven that most gamers aren’t interested in leaving their basement to see movies based on their favorite video games to begin with.  And most video games invest in just enough mythology to context the gaming and not enough story to validate a two hour film. Directed by David Bowie’s son, Duncan Jones this big-budget action-fantasy was a major flop for Universal Studios – and it deserved to be. Suggested Beer Pairing: Warcraft Barrel-aged Black Double IPA – Arcadia Ales

Zoolander, No 2

Please explain to us again, why Ben Stiller thought anyone might be interested in a weak and uninspired sequel to an underperforming comedy 15 years after the original.  We could have substituted Roland Emmerich’s Independence Day: Resurgence (another awful film from 2016) but at least that now twenty-year old film was a hit back in 1996 Suggested Beer Pairing: ZeeLander IPA – Toppling Goliath Brewing