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With much of the Midwest already buried under mountains of snow, and the East Coast now waking up to late winter’s wrath, we thought it an appropriate time to discuss a much overlooked subject – the Blizzard Beer.
Some beers can only be understood in apocalyptic conditions, when highways disappear for what may be forever and weather analysts show real fear…
A true Blizzard Beer’s greatness can only be grasped when temperatures plunge and lesser men (and women) panic. A great Blizzard Beer will fuel you through hours of shoveling no matter that storm’s wrath. A Blizzard Beer is not a drink – it’s an endurance enhancing essential!
Blizzard Beers -What they’re not
They’re not lagers that’s for sure. If you’re looking for a light refreshment while you’re attempting to dig your way to your car – stick with water.
They’re not IPA’s either – you’re not thinking about hop aromatics when the powers going down and you’re trying not to freeze to death.
Blizzard Beers -What They Are
A true Blizzard Beer is fuel – deep dark rich WARMING, fuel. Snow storms are when Russian Imperial Stouts rule the earth. Blizzards are the reason Barleywines even exist.
A great Blizzard Beer brings new meaning to the term “winter warmer.” A great Blizzard Beer is a temporary blast furnace of high ABV warmth guaranteed to heighten you shoveling performance when others crawl back to their buried abodes – diminished and broken.
How to Drink A Blizzard Beer
As with most high alcohol beers –one needs to be strategic when approaching a serious Blizzard Beer.
We suggest a hefty preparatory hit from a winterized tulip snifter just seconds before heading into the cold. Some Blizzard Beer experts suggest the use of beer syringes, but we see that as problematic.
But whatever approach you choose, this momentary lightning bolt of roasty good warmness will help fortify you against the raging cold and instill in you an essential confidence that you’re actually up to the task at hand.
Hell, maybe you’ll even feel like digging your neighbor out while you’re at it!
How Not To Drink A Blizzard Beer
As with these kinds of things moderation is key. Blizzard Beers are preventative inoculations that demand restraint and self-control.
Always remember that staggering around snowdrifts is an extremely bad look that needs to be avoided at all costs. Blizzard Beers can sneak up on you and have severe and embarrassing consequences.
Signs of Blizzard Beer-toxicity include the sudden impulse to stop shoveling make snow angels – or the unusual desire to build snow caves (that your whole family can live in!), rather than digging your car out.
And the dangers of a Blizzard Beer overdose are very real.
Even the most seasoned snow professional can fall victim to their siren call – which is why we always advise that you drink with a partner!
Noteworthy Blizzard Beers
Stone Imperial Russian Stout (San Diego, CA) – Leave it to Stone, a leading southern California brewery to brew a cold weather classic of truly Himalayan proportions.
Anchorage A Deal With The Devil – (Anchorage, AK) – Alaskans spend much of their lives fending off blizzards and bears. So who better to understand the demands of a real Blizzard Beer than the Anchorage Brewing crew? Their legendary 17.3 % ABV Barleywine is aged for months in Cognac barrels – and brewed for Arctic conditions.
Gigantic Massive! (Portland, OR) – Oregon’s Gigantic Brewing has crafted a fearless and fortifying 12% ABV British-style Barleywine that needs to be on everybody’s Blizzard Beer short list!
