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ACB recently picked the Best Movies Of 2015 and it created a mini-uproar with some of our readers who referred to many of our picks as “horribly misguided exercises in bad taste,” – as if that’s ever stopped us in the past. You want bad taste? We’ll show you bad taste…
So here are, in no particular order, are the Worst Movies of 2015.
American Ultra – Finally a movie that answers the question that the Rolling Stone so perceptively asked – “What if The Bourne Identity had been a steaming pile of garbage?” Adventureland co-stars Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg return as a couple of small town stoners – one of whom discovers “that he’s actually a secret CIA killing machine.”
Terminator Genisys – After two ground-breaking films, The Terminator series faltered, eventually becoming a parody of itself. Terminator Genisys takes this self-mockery to new heights by changing every rule that gave reason to the earlier movies – (just kidding – we were just bullshitting you in all those earlier movies). A blatant cash-grab that even a severely past-his-prime Arnold Schwarzenegger can’t save.
Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser – In a world where hardly no one remembers the original white trash opus Joe Dirt, who thought that this sequel could ever be a good idea? We never found comedian David Spade all that funny to begin with – and now he’s just older and meaner.
The Human Centipede III: Final Sequence– The Human Centipede franchise has always defined torture porn at its most reprehensible – and they are all predictably awful. Initially argued as cutting-edge satire, this anus-to-mouth depravity trilogy serves up the worst kind of smirking sadism. The only thing we like about Centipede III is that it might actually be the “final sequence. You promise?
Hot Tub Time Machine 2 – John Cusack was the only reason we’d suggest you check out Hot Tub Time Machine I, and he blew off a fat payday, to disassociate himself from this disaster. And unlike Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure another deliberately stupid time-travel comedy that grew a cult following over the years, this sloppy sequel is destined to be forgotten – if it hasn’t been already.
Mortdecai – Yes Johnny Depp’s performance in last year’s Whitey Bulger biopic had some critics sayin that he was back. But even if it was that good in Black Mass, nothing can excuse his cringe-worthy mugging as the art-dealing antihero in Mortdecai. Something happened to Johnny Depp with his incredible success as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean series – and unfortunately it hasn’t been good.
Entourage – The only good thing that we can say about this feature-length version of HBO’s vapid and vacant “Boston boys in Hollywood” series, is that it successfully captured the spirt of the original. What’s next….Keeping up with the Kardashians – The Movie?
Ted 2 – We can only blame Mark Wahlberg (who’s also at least partially responsible for the Entourage fiasco) for so much…
