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Hey, we admit that none of these things actually happened. But after a week of legitimately hyping the Great American Beer Festival, even we were getting a little bored, and thought we’d expound on some things that we wish had taken place.
Again, none of these things happened last week in Denver…but It’s still fun to think about!
Greg Koch Announces That It’s His Last GABF and That He’s Leaving Stone To Head Disney
As if his last sabbatical (where he went off the beer grid and roamed the world for a while) wasn’t indicative of something…Or the fact that he’s recently been seen wearing a Mickey Mouse ears hat to Stone’s corporate meetings, wasn’t telling enough… Greg Koch chose last week’s GABF to make a big announcement at a hastily scheduled gathering in Hall B, ending months of whispered speculation.
Accompanied by a baroque string quartet (flown in from Anaheim) softly playing a medley of Disney movie classics, a restrained and contemplative Koch used the forum to announce that this would be his last GABF – and to reflect on his journey from “arrogant bastard” to replacing Bob Iger as the number one guy at Disney. “Sometimes, it’s just time for a change” Koch mused, “plus I’ll never have to deal with those losers at American Craft Beer again.”
Cannabis Beer Category Added To The GABF Competition
The GABF is not just America’s longest running and largest gathering of US breweries – it’s also an important competition. Every year an international team of judges’ chooses “the best of the best” in ninety-six style categories –but the talk of last week’s contest was the new addition of a Cannabis Beer style category.
Acknowledging the ongoing trend towards marijuana’s legalization and the fact that some Colorado breweries had already received Federal approval for their pot-infused brews, the competition’s Rules Committee defended their actions as part of the organization’s commitment to being at the vanguard of craft beer’s evolution.
Cannabis Beer Judging Leads To Raucous Behavior That Goes Late Into The Night
Unlike most beer judging sessions at the GABF, which traditionally can take around three hours, the team of beer experts chosen to judge the new Cannabis Beer style category ended up meeting behind closed doors late into the night.
Officials grew concerned when complaints of loud music (deep Phish tracks, some Fleet Foxes and Radiohead) started surfacing around 2am…and when their numerous attempts to access the panel, who had barricaded themselves away, were met with raucous laughter.
Add to this ongoing situation, reports of several fast food and pizza deliveries made to the impaneled judges throughout the night – all charged to a Brewers Association corporate card.
Breckenridge, 10 Barrel and Golden Road Brewing Set Up Pop Up Serving Stations Outside The GABF
In an audacious move described by some as crafty but no longer “craft,” Breckenridge, 10 Barrel and Golden Road Brewing (all having been recently acquired by global giant AB InBev) set up unsanctioned popup serving stations on the sidewalks outside Denver’s Colorado Convention Center.
Breckenridge President Todd Usry spent over an hour pouring beer (along with 10 Barrel’s Garrett Wales) – and taking that opportunity to explain the Littleton, Colorado-based brewery’s new global strategy to anyone who would listen.
Golden Road’s Meg Gill was seen playfully working the crowds, while a bevy of hired models clothed in AB InBev beach attire, passed out sun visor hats and beach balls touting the brewery’s new association.
