We gotta admit, in the annals of ridiculous beer crimes we’ve never run into a man willing to crack another man’s skull in defense (we think) of his beer coozie.
Here’s the deal…
A Pennsylvania man has been accused of cracking a man’s skull after a barroom argument over a beer coozie, (you know those foam sleeves used to insulate drinks) turned ugly, sending the alleged victim to ICU with a cracked skull…
According to WJAC-TV Robert Hanik Jr., a 23-year-old Johnstown resident is accused of aggravated assault after he ‘allegedly’ shoved the patron at Trophy’s Bar and Grill into a concrete garbage can (a concrete garbage can?), knocking him unconscious.
Reports of the incident remain unclear…and questions abound.
Who owned the coozie that led to the argument that led to the individual getting his skull cracked?
Was the victim defending his beloved coozie or threatening to take it away from Hanik.
Or maybe the victim was just making fun of Hanik (assuming it was his coozie that led to the argument).
And we have to ask…Who gets in a fight over a beer coozie to begin with? What’s up with that? Was this some kind of repressed Freudian rage just waiting to happen?
And when was the last time you saw someone using a beer coozie in a bar? Our short answer is NEVER…
And if you frequent bars where people commonly drink beer in coozies, we suggest that you immediately rethink how you’re living your life…just sayin.
At last report, Hanik was lodged in the Cambria County Prison on $25,000 bail, facing charges of aggravated assault and recklessly endangering another person according to PennLive.
Details as to the specifics of the coozie that led to the skull-crushing incident remain in question, but are expected to come out in court…so we’ll be watching this particular stupid beer crime closely.