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There’s nothing more irritating than craft beer snobbery. We’ve all seen it in action and it’s not a good look.
Even with the craft beer biz maturing, and the industry not as hot as it once used to be, the craft snob is still out there, roaming the urban wilderness armed with obscure brewing knowledge and a general disdain for mainstream lagers.
The craft beer snob is not just a connoisseur—they are a character straight out of a beer-soaked sitcom. And they remind us that in the world of beer, as in life, elitists are never that much fun.
And here some of the techniques they use to impress us…
The Ritual of the Pour
For the craft beer snob, pouring a beer is akin to an ancient alchemical ritual. It’s an intricate dance of angles, froth levels, and an exactitude that would make a Swiss watchmaker blush.
Every tilt of the glass is scrutinized, every bubble in the head analyzed for optimal aesthetic pleasure. God forbid a craft beer newbie attempt such a feat and commit the grave sin of creating too much head!
The Aroma Analysis
Once the sacred elixir rests in its vessel, the craft beer snob commences the ritualistic sniffing. They bury their nose in the glass, eyes closed in deep contemplation, like a sage seeking enlightenment. “Ah, yes,” they muse, “hints of pine and elderflower, with a subtle undertone of existential angst.”
The Ultimate Flavor Revelation
Now comes the moment of truth: the tasting.
The craft beer snob takes a sip, allowing the liquid to swish contemplatively across their palate. Their face contorts in a performance worthy of an Oscar nomination—first surprise, quiet contemplation, followed by a profound critique that could rival a Michelin-starred food critic. ”
The Art of Pairing
To the craft beer snob, pairing beer with food is a high-stakes game of culinary chess.
“This stout,” they might opine, “pairs exquisitely with rare truffle-infused goat cheese and the m poetry of Sylvia Plath.” And they are quick dismiss any of us who would dare to suggest pairing a lager with anything less than an artisanal charcuterie board.
The Battle Against Big Beer
No craft beer snob worth a pinch of Himalayan pink salt would pass up the opportunity to decry the evils of “Big Beer.” They rail against the greedy conglomerates producing mass-market “flavorless swill” and champion small-batch breweries with obscure names like “Bearded Unicorn Brewing.” Or worse.
The Quest for Obscurity
For the craft beer snob, the quest for the rarest, most obscure brew is a lifelong pilgrimage. They regale their comrades with tales of stumbling upon a microbrewery hidden in a back alley of Portland, where the brewmaster studied under Tibetan monks. “You wouldn’t understand,” they whisper, “it’s a limited edition triple-fermented sarsaparilla-infused stout.”
Bottom Line
The best thing about beer is that it’s for everyone. And everyone experiences beer differently. Everyone has a different take.
Beer not about hierarchies, it’s an anti-elitist beverage, it brings people together, and the craft beer snob is the opposite of all that…
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