Do we really have to explain how bad we think this concept is? Doesn’t it kind of explain itself? After all, there are certain things that should never, ever intermingle…that should never even be mentioned in the same breath…that the very thought of is so actively repugnant as to elicit an almost physical reaction….And milkshakes made with beer is definitely one of them.

It’s not that we don’t like milkshakes. We’re Americans -we love milkshakes, and think of them as one of this country’s finest creations. We like them thick and chocolaty. We like them straight-up vanilla. We like them made with all kinds of exotic fresh fruits. We like them malted (or not). We’ve had milkshakes made a million ways (and enjoyed nearly all of them), and it’s not like we’re opposed to experimenting with flavors. But there’s a difference between being creative with your milkshakes and acting with deranged malice. Never in our wildest dreams would we ever consider mixing a milkshake with a beer…we’re just not that damaged.

Beer and ice cream are polar opposites that should never be allowed to be co-joined. Like oil and water; the Capulets and the Montagues, they’re anathema to each other in every way. Beer is the anti-shake. If anyone thought that a milkshake-inspired IPA was a good idea, Dogfish Head or Jester King would have done one by now. Likewise beer milkshakes…this was the best idea you could come up with? There wasn’t any other flavor you thought might work better? We get how you ended up here conceptually. We’re just concerned that you decided to stop there. Just because people love beer and love milkshakes doesn’t mean that they were ever meant to go together.

Know this…Once you’ve opened the door to concoctions as borderline as beer milkshakes , you’ve opened the doors to chaos…You’re now roaring down the road to no more rules; you’ve invited anarchy into your bed.

WHAT’S NEXT, PICKLE MALTS? No one wants that.

We’ve no doubt that the craft beer world will continue to see its share of creative missteps going forward, but few are as misguided as beer milkshakes. And we’ve no doubt that the public will be bombarded with these in the future. But keep this in mind…

Just because a product proliferates, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea …THINK FANNY-PACKS!

So bomb us if you want, but we at American Craft Beer.com are not backing down. If you want a beer, by all means, have one. If you’re in the mood for a thick and frosty shake -please enjoy. But the idea of mixing the two is an abomination… and truly a “Bad Idea in Brewing.”