25 Timeless Beer Quotes

Here are 25 of the best beer quotes of all time, celebrating the joy, culture, and humor surrounding this ageless beverage. Some of these are familiar, others less so, but they’re all worth raising a glass to…especially over a long holiday weekend!

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin (possibly)

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” – Frank Zappa, American musician

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” – Plato,  Greek philosopher

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” – Kaiser Wilhelm, last German Emperor and King of Prussia

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin (definitely)

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” – Dave Barry, American author and columnist

“Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” – Jack Nicholson, American actor

“There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.” – Billy Carter, President Carter’s brother

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger Austrian and American actor, filmmaker, former politician, and former professional bodybuilder

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” – Homer Simpson, Patriarch American animated sitcom The Simpsons

“Beer has always been my drug of choice, I’ve been drinking since I was nine.” – Tom Bobak, Founder & Editor-in-Chief American Craft Beer

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” – Henry Lawson, Australian writer

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway, American novelist

“Beer culture is a part of the world of food and drink. It’s not just a commodity in a can. There’s a culture and an understanding and an appreciation and an experience.” – Charlie Papazian, Author, brewer and nuclear engineer who founded the Great American Beer Festival

“Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.” – Thomas Jefferson, Founding Father & third President of the United States

“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.” – Czech Proverb

“Beer may cause you to digress – and lead a happier life.” – Michael Jackson, English writer and journalist renowned for his books on beer

“I work until beer o’clock.” – Stephen King, American Author

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” – Kinky Friedman, American singer, songwriter, novelist and politician

“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say scientists? I meant Irish people.” – Tina Fey, American writer, comedian, actress, and producer

“I have respect for beer.” – Russell Crowe, Academy Award-winning actor

“Stay with the beer. Beer is continuous blood. A continuous lover.” – Charles Bukowski, German-American poet and novelist

“Beer is made by men, wine by God.” – Martin Luther, German priest and theologian

“Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.” – Don Marquis, American poet and journalist

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” – Stephen Wright American stand-up comedian, actor, and writer

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