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Los Angeles Beer Week is in full swing in the City of Angels, and several brewpubs, bars, taprooms, and breweries are serving up enough beer to make you pre-reserve a spot on the liver donor list at Cedars-Sinai. You may be asking yourself, “What can I do to better my experience at this festival?” ACB has some tips that will make any beer festival an experience to remember.
4. Beating the Hangover the Next Day
As our bodies get older, one of the main reasons we don’t drink until we need to go on dialysis when we’re at beer festivals is because of the dreaded hangover the next day. It seems like anyone who drinks alcohol has a personal remedy to make sure they don’t wake up feeling like someone’s smashed their head with a cinder block. My personal favorite is drinking a glass of Ultima Replenisher Electrolyte drink and two eye droppers of Milk Thistle extract before I start drinking and before I go to bed. You can also bring some milk thistle and Ultima with you to the fest to give a power boost to your liver throughout the day. For an added bonus, you can also bring a flask of Fernet-Branca to help your tum-tum from hurting or feeling bloated. You can also get more beer money by selling the Fernet to the random hipsters at the festival when they’re dying of thirst due to the lack of PBR.
3. Dress up in Your Favorite Beer Costume
Why do people who go to Comic-Con and to Renfairs get to have all the fun with dressing up at festivals? Duh Dave, because they’re nerds! Hey, stop the bullying, stop the hate. We’re beer nerds and it’s time we show it! Sure people at beer festivals dress up in Lederhosen or their St. Pauli Girl outfits, but those have been done before. It’s like going to a Star Wars convention and everyone is dressed as Darth Vader. It’s good to see some Mon Mothma costumes peppered in there every once in a while. Try going to your next beer festival dressed up as your favorite hop, a very pale Indian, Bender Bending Rodriguez, a luggage porter, Jim Koch, a copper mash tun, or Ninkasi the Mesopotamian Goddess of Beer. The possibilities are almost endless, so try being creative. Pick a good one and I guarantee people will stop you for a picture, which may be your only form of communication with the opposite sex throughout the fest.
2. The Ol’ Go Pro in a Glass Trick
Have you ever had the brilliant idea of filming your experience at a beer festival but then breaking or losing your camera due to dropping it, immersing it in your beer, or pulling an Augustus Gloop and eating the camera like a sausage? Now you can film your entire time at the festival with the camera in the one place where it will never get lost or broken: in the bottom of your beer glass (a Go Pro in a waterproof case hot glued to the bottom of a beer glass, of course). Every sip will be documented so you can show your friends how big of a lush you’ve become. Plus you can finally figure out who keeps making out with you and giving you cold sores. As an added bonus, you can speed up the entire duration of the footage and turn it into an artsy short film called “The Craft from Within” and submit it to the Cannes Film Festival.
1. The Camelback Personal Toilet
Sure we’ve all seen someone sporting a Camelback to stay hydrated between sipping on tasters, but when the body consumes twice as much fluid, you have to urinate twice 
as fast. Like any kind of event or festival, there is a grossly underestimated amount of port-o-potties on the premises. One foolproof way to completely avoid the Honey Bucket line is to keep the Uriwell Unisex Personal Toilet in your pants and connect it to a Camelback fanny-pack. Sure it might sound gross or ridiculous, but guess who’s not going to be ridiculous when your friends are doing the cross-legged bladder blaster dance and you’re enjoying your eighth glass of that Belgium IPA that you love worry free? That’s right, the person with a toilet in their pants.
