Bad Ideas In Brewing – Beer Dispensing Messenger Bags

Hey, no one’s perfect…as we at American Craft Beer understand better than most. That said, there are some ideas out there that are monumentally misguided. So welcome to another BAD IDEAS IN BREWING…and we’ve no idea who would really need one of these.

We have never been comfortable with donut beers. And we found the idea of clear alcohol-free beer brewed for drinking in the office inconceivably stupid.

Beer brewed with Peeps Easter candy just seemed gimmicky (same goes for Glitter Beer) and Eastern Europe’s vaginal beer needs to be investigated by the UN.

But a messenger bag designed with a hidden beer spout strikes us as a bad idea that’s missed it’s window of opportunity by decades. What with more easily transportable craft beer in cans than ever before (cans fit in messenger bags too)…and much of the nation vaping pot in plain sight…does anyone really need this thing?

Here’s The Deal

Designed as the latest addition to PortoVino’s (get it?), growing family of bags built as hidden alcohol dispensers, the PortoVino Messenger Bag functions the exact same way as its female-skewing wine purse does.

Portofino’s Messenger Bag is designed as a versatile business accessory. It is only once you unzip the secret interior pocket that its dual function is revealed.

Inside the insulated, zippered compartment of the bag is a removable 1.5 liter pouch that takes up a deceivingly small amount of space that is large enough to hold four cans of beer when you stick it back in the bag.

There’s also a large main compartment to hold a wallet and necessities, along with 2 side pockets big enough to hold cell phone, keys and other personal items. There’s even room for a laptop if you want to risk frying your computer should the hidden booze bag ever spring a leak.

Portovino’s synthetic leather exterior flap conceals the all essential pouring spout that you can impress your bike messenger friends with…or use to pick up college kids…

Hide your house key!

Bottom Line

Portofino’s Messenger Bag is a product whose time has passed…if that time ever really arrived at all.

After all, most high school kids have bag gear that hide mood enhancing dispensers more effectively (Hello Kitty).

And we suggest that you just stick with those plastic dog turds to hide your house key under, if your goal is to outsmart THE MAN.

That idea not a bad enough for you?  There’s more:

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – BEER MILKSHAKES

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – RESURRECTING ZIMA

BAD IDEAS IN BREWING – STAG SEMEN STOUT

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